room for 3 on my lap

these days i am trying to make room for 3 as i have an extra girl, Bianca, for a while. Bianca's mama works an hour away so i watch her for like 10-12 hours a day 4 or 5 days a week. bianca has taken to callin me mommmy. at first we were like "no, "antie", not mommy". but then a memory flashed through my mind. comming to julie's to get or bring eli or just to hang out and eli's little voice saying hi or bye or asking for something from "julie ma". it seems i was mama and julie was ma. when i was struggling julie ma stepped in and helped me raise that rebellious little sinner who threatened to unravel me with his little words and shaking fist and abnoxious never ending fits. i was so thankful for all julie helped us with. as time grew on, i was more ready for this mom thing than when i first met julie. with the help of our pastor, some books and accountability between each other, julie, david, myself and everyoneelse watching was able to witness the change in eli- it was amazing. instead of just becoming frustrated with him i was able to see him as a soul separated from his God by his sin, a soul who needed course correction and love. this was very different view from what i originally had for my son- i thought he just hated me and was bent on hurting me because he could (yes these were desperate times. it seems silly to write those words but i was very sure of their accuracy at the time). so what does all this have to do with moss bianca? well bianca came to me very mild mannered, loving to pray and generally easy to work with. as we get to know her better though i see she is just as rebellious as my kids, she is just quiet about it. at first it was easy to think "this will be an easy job, she may even be a good influence on my kids" but i forgot that she too has a sn nature and at 2 years old she has jet to be trained to master it as God told cain before he murdered able. God has blessed me with the privilage of training another child for his glory- kinda odd, if i had carried the last pregnancy to term, he or she woud have come at the same time as i began watching bianca. God is allowing me to disciple a new child, even though she was not birthed by me, i get to work with her mom as julie worked with me to make this young girl aware of her God and to help her learn to love Him with all her heart soul mind and strength, to teach her that her end goal in everythng she does is to bring glory to god and enjoy Him forever! sometimes that means lining all 3 of them up for discipline and prayer after a figt breaks out amongst them, sometimes that means being patient as bianca gives me the silent treatment when i ask what happened , sometimes that means not playing favourites and relizing that many times the fight was my kids fault and bianca has been a victim of their sin nature and sometmes it means loving her in the same way i love my kids when they disobey. yesterday. i ran out to pick soemthing up- i posthat story in another blog- when i came back all 3 of them were so happy to see me. i picked up lee and gave her tickle-kisses and then put her back down. stnading at my feet was bianca saying something uninteeligable(as is most of her seach at only 2 years old), but i was able to decifer it as do that to me know. so i picked her up and showered her with tickle kisses too. why had i not done that sooner. as per her mother and my agreement i was discipling her so as not to send home a spoiled brat at the end of a 12 hour day or a 4 day work week, but i had missed an importnat part of that discipleship, affection in this form. we sing and dance and rock to sleep together, but before this i hadn't really played with her. i am so glad i am able to. God is blessing!

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. hebrews 12:11

"You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." deut. 11:18-19

it is so nice to be able to say, "what does /god's word say about______" rather than just saying (or yelling) stop fighting, no yelling, cut that out.

Thank You God for giving me the instuction to teach them about You. everything is about you oh, Lord! may these 3 children grow up to love You, may they be lights in this dark world, behaving differently beacuse they hold themselves to Your standards and chose to live in your safe boudaries.